Friday, April 24, 2015

Sarcasm! Sarcasm? Uuuggghhh.

Lately, I've been experiencing extra communication confusion. This is because I've been going out in public more (water exercise class for people who don't move around well!), which, in and of itself, is a good thing. In new situations, I usually try to keep uncomfortableness to a minimum by not initiating conversation. This class are a chatty bunch and I've been called upon to speak more than usual. Locker room times are not a scenario I have a lot of experience with, so I've already ostracized myself by not making sense when I talk (which is mostly in incomplete sentences when I'm not busy saying something unintentionally confusing or offensive.)

This brings me to the concept of sarcasm.

I understand sarcasm, but I can't often be sure if someone is using it, telling a joke, messing with me, being literal, etc. Text is easier for me to interpret than spoken words, but I'm not great at internet tone, either. I agonize over everything I post because I want to make sure the words I'm using match the tone I'm setting. It's more exhausting face to face, because arranging my face to match my emotions is like a turbo game of pick-up sticks. This also means other people sometimes think I'm being funny or angry when I'm not feeling it in the least. Fortunately, there are people in my life who understand this, are patient with me, and have no problem giving me the space to work out something someone said, or eventually get around to whatever point I'm trying to make.

It's important for me, for multiple reasons, to weigh the pros and cons of going somewhere on purpose. I'm not always at home; but, I have to consciously make myself ready to interact with people out in the world, and be okay if it goes badly. I'll still go to the pool without worrying about whether or not people like me.