A years-long sort-of secret of mine is my difficulty with paying attention long enough to read things longer than a short magazine article. It's one of the reasons I haven't completed a college degree and I carry a lot of shame around about that. This part is a story for another blog entry, but I was "gifted" and an excellent reader when I was a kid while being inattentive, impulsive, etc. at the same time. Exhausting.
I've only recently discovered that there is a staggeringly high comorbidity rate of ADHD and other psychiatric disorders--such as my dear friend, BPD. A year or so ago, I read a couple of magazine articles written about adult women with ADHD and cried. I could mark off almost every point that made the case for this possibly being my problem. (I'd share the articles, but I forgot to bookmark them).
I haven't fully checked into the attention issue until now, because there is always
something going on that seems more important (to my doctors). I agree that there have been Very Important Things happening, but I finally made enough of a demand that figuring this out became a priority. My current psychiatrist has zero experience with ADHD (and has been completely unhelpful in this department). My general practitioner (whom I adore) has basic experience and gave me a prescription for a low dose of Adderall. We'll see how it goes. If it works, I'll see another psychiatrist.
I've only been taking Adderall for a couple of days, but I'm already reading several more pages in a book at a time than I have in ages. It usually takes me 4 hours to write one of these blog posts. Today, it only took me 2 hours. So far, so good!